I'm getting ready to experience something I've not experienced in a long, long time ...being alone for an extended period of time. To be honest with myself, I'm freaking out as I think of what this will feel like after a few short days. Solitary confinement comes to mind and I am repelled by everything that stands for. This I know, God has been leading me to do this for many months now. I know He wants this because of my fear to actually go on this sabbatical. I've felt this way just one other time that I can recall and that was when I was asked to join a group of pastors on a trip to India. My initial reaction was fear and thoughts of "no way". I sensed that my reaction was not from God and therefore felt this is exactly what He wanted me to do. I am now looking forward to my 4th trip to a country and people I have come to love. This "sabbatical" thing has the same spiritual ring in my soul.
I am a person of distractions ... I need them ...I even seek them out because I am often fearful of solitude. A great part of my spiritual need is to confront that, and allow God to do whatever He wants in me. I'm scared, excited and generally out of sorts with myself and others. You talk about spiritual warfare ...I'm in it! This time away will be tough on my wife, a little uncomfortable for the church elders, a challenge for the staff (although I have no doubt that all will go well or I really could not force myself to even consider it) and a stretch for our church family.
I would appreciate your prayers for God's protection of all people concerned with my sabbatical. I would ask for you to pray for my wife. She will join me the last 10 days of my absence. Please pray that I will come back with a clearer understanding of who I am in Christ and what He wants from me as I serve ICC.
