It Was 41 Years Ago

I was 19 and working in Venice, FL when I first met Bill.  He was a couple of years younger than me but we connected as friends right away.  It was not built upon Christ but it worked.  Bill was a quiet guy, I mean really tight-lipped.  We later became really close friends ...maybe even "best friends" and I still didn't know Bill that much but I knew him better then than anyone else.  We did the things that guys our age did back then and it wasn't going to church!  We fished, scuba dived and ...I'll quit right there. Quite a few people thought we were brothers as we both had reddish hair and with very fair complexion.  I taught Bill all I knew about the funeral business.  He caught on quickly and soon surpassed me in his ability with the technical part of embalming. He was a perfectionist ...still is I think.

I went off to embalming college and Bill his college when I was just about through and so me didn't connect much at all.  I got married and Bill was still single.  He worked 60 plus hours a week at a funeral home and so did I.  We really lost touch but I knew where he was and life went on.

Those of you who know my story remember about what happened on my fifth year of marriage.  God wrecked me and began to heal me.  My life of hypocrisy was exposed and it almost cost my family and me our relationship.  God intervened in a miriculous way and I moved from Miami to a few miles from where I am right now.  I ended up working for the same funeral home as my old buddy Bill.  Only now I was on a different trajectory and Bill was not.  I could not do the things we once did together but our friendship remained strong and even grew.  One night, around midnight, Bill and I were embalming a body ...just like we did six or seven years earlier when we were young and fancy free.  As we embalmed this guy, I asked Bill something like, "If this was you that somebody was embalming, where would you be?  This guy's not here ...it's just his body.  Where would you be right now Bill if this was you?"  He did not like the question and walked out of the room with a few words that were not so good.  About a week later he told me he had a dream that I called him up one night and said that the Lord was coming back.  He said everything was chaotic in his dream but he finally decided to go out and join the crowd that was walking toward a bright light but then suddenly it turned dark and he realized he had been left behind.  When he woke up he said he kneeled beside his bed and asked Jesus to forgive him and come into his life.  That was 32 years ago.

Guess who I went to church with on Saturday night and then again on Sunday morning (two differeent churches)?  That's right Bill and his wife of 30 some years.  What a great blessing for us to spend some time together.

Bill is still in the funeral industry, has two grown daughters, has a beautiful Harley Duece and rides with a group at his church who have turned riders into a fellowship group.  He's got a stud in his left ear and he loves Jesus and working in Celebrate Recovery ministries.

"Be Still" a Tough Commitment to Follow Through On

Be still , and know that I am God ... (Psalm 46:10a)
No unexpeceted interuptions, no TV, no hard schedules, no radio and nobody around and I spent two hours sitting on a couch trying to understand this ( admonishment? command? instruction?) portion of a verse.  In my "unstillness" I wanted to get on my computer for a Bible study on this and yet I sensed the Holy Spirit say, "No ... be still".  And so I remained on the couch.  I began to watch the wind blowing the coconut palms and as a palm frond blew off, I began to wonder if any coconuts had fallen off last night.  As I started to get up to check, I sensed the Holy Spirit say, "No ... be still".  And so I remained on the couch. I thought about what I was going to have for breakfast and heard that still small voice saying, "Be still".  I thought ...so that's part of what fasting is about, being still, especially being still in my mind.  I can't believe how much I can think about food!  Then I began to think about my trip to Waycross next week and what I wanted to share with the Iron Men and I clearly heard again, "No ... don't think about that.  Be still." I found the little scabs on my head that I cannot leave alone in my continuous nervousness and realized how difficult it is, even sitting on the couch with everything in place, how difficult it is for me to "be still". I was beginning to feel like this is  lost cause.  What's this all about?

Enter God ... finally! I began to reflect on my 70's experiences with TM (transcendental meditation) ... not calling up spirits or anything too weird, but what TM taught about centering, getting all thoughts out of your mind.  I remembered how you neeeded to pick out a personal mantra, ("Ohmmm ..." was as personal as I got.) a word that would help you focus yourself so that when all the random thoughts came through your mind you could just let them pass through and keep going with your mantra.  I also remembered the visualizing techniques of seeing yourself as a stone slowly sinking into the depths of the oceans and watching the surface light become more and more dim until it was darkness.  Peace and centering was supposed to occur but I usually fell asleep or was overcome with an irresitable urge to smoke a cigarette and forgot the whole thing.  It did relax me but my life didn't change for the better, I didn't care more about humanity, my neighbor or my nasty habits,  and I felt no peace ...just a little closer to the Beatles when I heard some of their zitar songs during their foray into eastern mysticism. I'm sure John, Paul, Ringo and George appreciated my "openness".

However, I think meditating on God and TM has some parallels.  One: It takes some discipline to stop and do somethings that is aimed as minimizing distractions ("When you pray go into your closet and shut the door and pray to your Father who sees what's done in secret ..."Mt. 6:6).  Two: The need to focus is there, "know that I am God".  The huge differences between TM and meditating  on God is that the purpose in focusing on God is not to empty your mind  but to fill it with what God wants to fill it with.  We aren't trying to reach "nervana" (the great nothingness on the wheel of life)  but intimacy and understanding with our Creator God ...and when that happens it's certainly not darkness but the light of God's countenance shinning upon us.

When I get back to real life I realize that I need to focus on some disciplines in my life that have been anemic.  That's what I learned this morning by attempting to "Be still and know that God is God". There need to be times when I turn off the phone, the TV, the radio, my appetite, my ministry schedule and deadlines, my hobbies ...my many distractions, so I can hear from God clearly, as I simply reflect on who God is ...He is God.  He is the God of my life and He is full of grace and truth.

Two hours and a wonderful revelation from God was specially delivered to me.  Okay God, that's one thing.  Help me hear some more because that's why I'm here.

I GOT WHAT I PRAYED FOR - SOLITUDE

I finally figured it out ...why I'm getting the cold shoulder from the folks around here.  I prayed for solitude with as little distractions as possible and that's exactly what I got.  Very few people are here and the ones who are ...well you know.

I was thinking, what if everybody was social and friendly and wanted to lay around and shoot the breeze?  I would have simply had a private vacation, having fun, fishing, etc...  That's not why I'm here and God powerfully reminded me of this last night. So, instead of friendly diversions I have been able to be alone and listen.  I've been reading Andy Stanley's new book, "Deep and Wide" and is it ever a timely read.  Most of our staff happens to be reading it also.  Through that book God has confirmed many positive things going on at ICC and has challenged me to think again "outside the box".  For any of you readers out there, get this book and share it when you're done.  You will be glad you did.

I have been able to think about some new message series without the stress of deadlines.  I have also been able to focus on our Christmas series "Christmas with Grace".  It is thrilling me to think how God will use this series.  PLEASE START INVITING YOUR UNCHURCHED FRIENDS. I assure you they will be blessed.  I read through Ecclesiastes in one sitting yesterday.  It was perfect timing for the way I felt.

I'm heading to Waycross, GA next Tuesday and Wednesday to speak with the Iron Men at my son's church.  They have about 20-30 committed men who need some motivation to stick with it.  This is my sweet spot and I am looking so forward to helping these guys.  As a bonus I will be able to attend a play that my grandson Andrew and grandaughter Destiny are involved with.

Sorry for the pity party from my last post but I promised to be real ... and I'm trying.

LOOKS LIKE PARADISE --DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT

I'll say it right up front --I'm lonely.  Intensely lonely.  My minimal relief from this is "Words with Friends".  (Ask soembody with a smart phone what this is ...scrabble) Thanks Griselle and Mike Coffman and Jon Duey and whoever that random opponent is out there in cyber space who's playing with me.  Just to know I have contact in this impersonal way seems very important.  How weird is that?

Being "alone" and being "lonely" are world's apart.  The few residents here are tight-lipped and distant. I'm a strangerinvading their space.  I tried to start a simple conversation with the retired man a few doors down and it was like talking to one of the coconuts out in the yard ...nothing. What good is "paradise" if you can't share it with others?

I walk 6 miles a day in 85 degree weather with a gentle western breeze coming off the Gulf of Mexico ... perfect! I can get up whenever I want but my Iowa schedule will not relinquish its hold on me...5:30 am I'm up and facing another day of being "alone".  I'm glad Griselle remembered to pack the Tylenol PM so I can get to sleep by 10 pm.  This "paradise" is not what I expected.  I still don't know what is supposed to happen in me but I know I eventually will ...in God's timing.


How people without Jesus Christ and His church body make it through the day ... I'll never know.  I miss my wife and all my friends.  I miss my Iron Men, the elders, our staff, the Sunday morning gaterhing.

Thanks for checking in with me.  Thanks to those of you who have left comments.  I would like to respond but I don't know if my replies will be published.  When I find out how I can respond to you in private, I will.  For now just know that I thank you for your correspondence. 

PINE ISLAND, FL -- WHERE I WAS "CALLED"

Blue Crab Key Condominiums, Pine, Island FL is known as a fisherman's paradise.  I didn't even bring my fishing tackle ... just as fishin rod that I haven't put together yet.  I looked at the little half acre of land that Griselle and I was about to purchase for the Mitcham Funeral Home.  A bank is on that property ...still no funeral home on the island.

I'm about 15 miles from the place on US 41 when God stopped the Mitcham Funeral Home and directed my life from burying the dead to bringing people to life from the dead through the preaching and teaching of the Good News.  It happened like this: I was driving home from Cape Coral to Punta Gorda (25 miles) thinking about a "ship out". It was about 8 pm. A northern "snowbird" had died and I was thinking about all that needed to be done in the morning: burial permit, death certificate, obituary notice, shipping container and flight arragements, etc..., when out of a live broadcasted Wednesday night prayer meeting, Pastor Bill Love in his North Carlolina draw, on WSOR FM said, "I usually don't do this on Wednesday night but I feel led to say something.  God is telling somebody out there in radio land to do something.  I don't know what that is ... but buddy, you just better do it".  At that instant, all I could hear broadcasting from within my mind was "You are going to be a pastor".  I laughed out loud and nearly wrecked the car. I had to pull over and for about half an hour God impressed me to forget about the life I had planned and to  get ready for a whole new adventure.  6 months later our family moved to Bolivar, MO so that I could begin my training.  That was 33 years ago and I have never looked back.  It's strange that I ended up here for another, intensely personal, meeting with the God who called me.  I did not plan to be here for any other reason than economics.  It was the best deal for the dollar along FL's gulf coast.  Only as I signed the contract for my stay did I reflect on, "This is where it all began".  What's up with all this?

God Showed up In Birmingham, AL

As I was driving through Birmingham, I reflected on my father and his early life here in the deep south.  My father, Jake was born into a violent, alcoholic and racist family.  My grandparents, whom I never met, were involved in the KKK.  I was in a strange mood as I pulled into the Shell station for fuel.

There was a black gentleman, about my age with the hood up on his older model Chevy SUV.  He came over and asked if he could call his family on my cell phone.  As I asked him what happened and if I could help, he introduced himself as Pastor Pritchard (something or other).  I told him I was a pastor too and he immediately said, "Yes, and you were in the military during Viet Nam".  Since I was wearing a long sleeve shirt and he could not see the scar where my removed tatoo was, I asked, "How do you know that?"  He simply said "The Lord told me" as he told me about his two tours as a marine in Viet Nam.

He was travelling around preaching in small rural churches and his SUV had been stolen and recovered with all of his belongings taken ...inlcuding his brief case, wallet and cell phone.  He was going to call his wife and have her drive about 3 hours to rescue him. He was out of gas and out of money but ... he was not out of hope.  When I asked him if I could fill up his car, he started preaching Jesus and jumping around, and hooting and hollering.  "I've been praying for the blessing of Abraham and God sent it!  Hallelujah!".

I told him my old story, of racism and violenece and alcoholism and how now, because of Jesus, all my family were believers (including my Dad)  and that I even had a son in the mnistry in the deep south ...he really got happy and began to yell out praises to Jesus.  He hugged me and jumped up and down and then stopped and held my face close to his, looked into my eyes and said, "I love you  brother."  I've never seen someone so happy and so fired up for God.  We both left that place, with tears of joy.

That was my first full day on my Sabbatical.  How about that?

"Be Stiil". You Can't Mean It.

Psalm 37:7  Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him.

My father was the most edgy and nervous man I've ever known.  He bit his fingernails down to his elbows. When he was stone-cold sober he was constantly in motion.  He could never relax and just chill.  Little things irritated him, like too many sneezes or too much coughing.  To say he was 'wound tight" was an understatement.

The people who know me the best say that I am a person in perpetual motion and that it seems I have a difficult time in relaxing.  My resting heart rate is close to 80 which was the same as my dad.  I have assumed that some of my physical traits are genetic.   Does that give me a pass to minimize God's directive to "be still" and" wait patiently for Him"?  I don't think so.

There you have it.  My first assignment is to accept this a significant part of my Sabbatical.  I can "be still" in short snippets of time but to know that this is what God is wanting me to pursue for an extended period of time ... this will be difficult.  I will not have any legitimate excuses to be in "perpetual motion" like I have at home.  My default mode (flesh) says, "You can't do that! You can't sit in an apartment without noise ... without talk radio, without music, without playing "Word with Friends.  Who are you trying to kid?"  So, I ask myself, "Have I set myself up for being down on myself before I even begin?  Oh, I keep forgetting.  The Sniper is on full alert.  God must want to do something.

Thanks for your prayers that I will do all that I can for God to do what only He can.

WHAT'S THE PLAN?

Six weeks!  What will that look like?  I've asked myself this question many times over the last few months.  The overall schedule is simple. 
1) Leave early Wed. (Oct. 16) drive to Bocillia, FL and arrive by Saturday, October 20. 
2) Spend Oct. 20 -Nov. 4 alone (I'll share what that will look like a little later on).
3) My son John will join me on Nov. 5 -11. 
4) Nov. 12-14 alone 
5) Nov. 15, pick Griselle up in Tampa.
6) Nov. 19 Griselle and I leave for Waycross, GA for Thanksgiving with the Mitcham/Heideman family for 5 or six days.
7)  Drive home and back in Church the first Sunday in December.