So That's What It Feels Like!

If I heard him say it once ...I heard it 1,000 times: "I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin" and then he would swallow what he called a "funny pill". That was my Dad.  He was a bundle of nerves and I never really understood what he meant until just a few weeks ago.  While I was alone and practicing the discipline of "being still" before the Lord, I realized just how much I am like my Dad was.  I never realized what it felt like to be totally quiet and still until I determined I really needed to. This was to be a major part of my get-away.  It was a directive from God and I meant to do what He asked.

After about 3 days of no TV, no radio, no company, no phone calls and total peace and quiet, I experienced a calmness I had never felt before.  I began to understand what Dad meant when he was uptight but ...only as I became "unwound".  I guess I have been "uptight" my whole life.  It's hard to miss something you've never experienced, therefore I never missed being totally calm and relaxed. Nervous energy was what I called it but really it was deeper than that.  I think I had some trust issues with God providing ALL of my needs.

I realized that my constant state of being wound tight has alienated some people because of a sense of unease and nervousness I may have projected.  I regret that deeply but I can't undo the past and it certainly will not do anybody any good to live in remorse.  Now what?  I have made some major commitments and one of them is to slow down and enjoy the moments I have with my network of friends.  Life is too short and meaningful times of connections that are lost are truly lost forever.

That's one thing.  There are more.

WE'RE BACK HOME

Griselle and I pulled into Milo at 4 PM today (Sunday).  It's really good to be home again.

We drove 1,200 miles in 2 days (I say "we" but Griselle doesn't like to drive ...so she didn't). Griselle is a great co-pilot by handing me my Red Bulls and giving directions.  We have always enjoyed long drives together.

I will most likely keep up this blog but I'm contemplating how to approach it.  I was so surprised by the number of people looking in on this thing.  I'm thankful that you did.  Though I was far away I felt a connection with my church family and that was truly a blessing to me.

I had a lot of great times of Christian fellowship with some very close friends from my teenage years and met some great new friends.  Griselle and I had an early Thanksgiving with our long-time friends Dwain and Pam Kitchens.  Our families went to college, seminary and vacations together for over 25 years.  Andrew Kitchens, like our son Johnny, is also a pastor.

God spoke to my heart about a few key aspects of my life.  There was some great confirmations and a couple of difficult areas I needed to process.  The "alone time" was the most essential need that my Sabbatical season fulfilled.  I'm getting more confidence in shutting everything out for longer periods of time as I seek God's quiet but powerful voice.

I have spent many, many hours preparing for our Christmas message series: Christmas With Grace.  I wish I could say the inspiration for the series was delivered to me personally by God ...but it was Andy Stanley who put it together.  I'm adapting it for us but it is  the best Christmas series I have ever heard.  I think you,  and whomever you might invite to come with you, will be blessed.  This is one of the times I'm sensing a great outpouring of God's Christmas grace.

See you all  Sunday.

WISHING ALL OF YOU A BLESSED THANKSGIVING

I'm with my son and his family and my oldest daghter and her family along with my daughter-in-law's parents and brother for Thanksgiving.  I'm smoking all the meat and having a ball with my grandchildren. 

I have so much to share with you but I've been a little sick with a cold these past two days and I'm ready to go to bed.  Griselle and I thank you so much for your prayers and thoughts.  This really has been a special time for us.

The Victory With Jesus Sunday was a blast for me and I felt real freedom in sharing.  I look forward to seeing these folks again if I have the privilege.

We wish you all a great Thanksgiving Day.  May you all know that we miss you and will see you in just a little over a week.

I know you're praying for Ben as he brings the Word this Sunday.

WILL YOU PRAY WITH ME FOR VICTORY WITH JESUS MINISTRIES?

I am amazed at how many of you are stopping by this site and checking in with me.  I had no idea that this would happen.  Thanks goes to Jon Duey who set this thing up (on a last minute deal) and who gave me some key insights about what is necessary for a "visited" blogsight.  He's been doing this for quite a while (jonduey.blogspot.com).  Well, the reason I'm writing this is because there have been over 3,000 visits.  Because of that I'm asking all of you to join with me in praying for a small group of brothers and sisters in Christ.  They belong to a group called "Victory With Jesus Ministries" (www.victorywithjesus.com).  Their pastor is John Leonard.  Man, is he a trip!  I mean totally out of the box. I've never met anyone who (I feel) loves Jesus more.  When he speaks ...people "get it". This goes with the truth when Jesus reminded the Pharisee ..."Those who have been forgiven more ... love more.  Some of you may think I'm transparent ...you ain't seen nothin. I've been with this group the past three Sundays.  I've met with John, Cindy, Peggy, Paul, Debbie, Bill, Deb, Michael and Lonnie.  There's a few more but I can't remember their names.  Will you lift these fellow brothers and sisters in Christ up in your prayers?  These are fellow strugglers along this rocky road of life.  Will you also thank God for the kind lady who opens up her bar and grill to this group every Sunday?

I have the privilege to speak to these guys this coming Sunday.  This kind of meeting is where I'm most at home and free to speak about the underbelly of the struggles in the Christian life.  I have come to love these guys and feel God can use my life's lessons to encourage them.  Pray that I will totally depend on God to speak through me.  Pray for Pastor John Leonard and his wife Cindy who are going through the struggles of caring for an aging parent who requires constant diligence.  Pray that God will meet the financial needs of this unique ministry just as we pray that God will meet our needs there at ICC.

Maybe, right now, you could pray for just a minute.  Thanks everyone.

I am really pumped for our Christmas series: Christmas With Grace.  I'll talk to that later.

Just A Thought About Diligence vs Vigilance

As I was going over my scripture for my Iron Man's group (I meet with them via telephone onWednesdays) I feel blessed by some fresh insights on my verse.  Proverbs 4:23 "Keep your heart with all vigilance for from it flow the springs of life."

Is it more difficult for me to be faithful to this admonition these past several weeks of being alone, or when I'm in the midst of my life there in Indianola, IA? 

My first thought was that being alone without any structured accountability would be more difficult.  I've rethought this and have come to just the opposite conclusion. Being alone feels different and calls for a different response to life.  I have been more "vigilant" here than when I'm at home.  Why is that?  I thought about that word "vigilance" and, for some reason, always read it as diligence. I believe there is a big difference.  I'm diligent about important things but I'm vigilant about vital, essential things. I can be diligently reading the Word but not vigilant in applying it to my life.  Vigilance implies being watchful because of something very important. 

The command is to "keep your heart with all vigilence".  I have a responsibility to protect my own heart.  I knew this coming here and have been vigilant in doing so because I realize I am in a different setting.  I came here to be quiet and listen.  That's what I've done (for the most part). The Enemy has not been able to get at me precisely because I have been vigilant in keeping my heart.

So, my prayer and petition to God is to help me understand this in the very midst of busyness.  Being alone with God is a practice that Jesus maintained in His busy, demanding, draining life while He was here.  He got up early and went to a place of solitude to pray and Jesus had no sin issues.

Solitude, prayer and vigilance in the midst of crowded, distracted diligent ministry.  That's what is necessary.  That's how I can "keep [my] heart with all vigilance. What do I need to rearrange in my life to assure my vigilance?

Just Some Reflections

I'm thinking about coming back home to Indianola (okay ...Milo!) IA. I'm thinking about the stark contrasts in some areas of life.  I've met very few people who are native Floridians.  Interestingly enough I met a young man in his early 20's from Iowa who moved here about a year ago.  We spent an hour talking about the wonders of Iowa and small town life.  It was obvious that he missed home but he is chasing a dream ...still no job here though.    I met another young couple (late 20's) who left Wisconsin looking for the dream here and they talked about their home in Wisconsin and their family they are so looking forward to seeing when they drive back for Christmas.  What I reflected upon was how insignificant, just about anything is, without the people we love to share it with.

I've reflected upon being alone and fasting.  If not for a specific call from God to pursue this, I'd be a blathering idiot by now.  You ought to hear some of the conversations going on in my head sometimes!  "Oh, isn't this a good sandwich?  The ham is perfectly smoked and that swiss cheese!  Isn't it wonderful?"  Who the heck am I talking to?  I know, that's not "fasting" talk but you get the picture of me being alone.  Fasting is another whole wierd subject for me because I'm wired for wierd.  I can go for two or three days without eating a single thing without a problem but let me miss a meal or a second helping  and I'm miserable.  I mean, I eat a great big ol bowl of something just to see if I like it!  Let me put it another way ...I know fasting is good but I'm not good at fasting.  If I'm too transparent for some of you ...sorry.  I'm trying to be real.

I have been hearing from God in some awesome and transforming ways.  I've been hearing about my lack of confidence in a few areas (preaching being one) that He is giving me back the faith and confidence that I now realized I had lost.  God has also been revealing to me what He is most pleased with about my life and ministry.  I'm finally realizing that God not only loves me (I knew that) but God also likes me.  He's shown me that He has enjoyed ME HANGING OUT WITH HIM.  Now ...how to keep that going and increasing when life and ministry comes crashing down in a few weeks?  That's the question I'm talking to HIM about now.

Post-Election Thoughts from the 1800's

So, my son and I were talking this morning about the results of the election yesterday.  He picked up the guitar and sang and played the following words from a old hymn of the faith.  It ministered to me ...maybe it will speak to your heart also.

1. My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus' name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

2. When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

 3. His oath, His covenant, and blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When every earthly prop gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

4. When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found,
Clothed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne!
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

IROM MEN IN GEORGIA ...GOING STRONG

I got back from Waycross, GA yesterday after spending 2 days with my son and his family.  What a blessing.  This was a real joy for me and my 3 grandchildren.  The time there ended too quickly.

I was asked to meet with the Iron Men from my son's church Wednesday at 6 a.m..  They needed some encouragement but it was me that was encouraged.  Destination Church now has about 30 Iron Men and they are on fire for the Lord.  I spent the entire hour pouring my cup into their's.  I'm telling you, these guys are the real deal. 

It is interesting to me how Johnny finally gave Iron Men a chance about a year ago.  My son is a true servant and has always enjoyed mentoring men, one-on-one.  He finally reached a point that he was frustrated as there were too many guys and too few of him.  SO ... I asked him to try meeting with 4 or 5 guys at the same time.  I poured out the simple plan and he went with it.  Now there are 5 or 6 groups and they keep on growing.

Mike McClintock, our Elder Board chairman made about a dozen Iron Men leather bracelets and shipped them to Johnny.  The guys love them and wear them with pride.

I guess some of you heard about Griselle hitting the deer that totaled her car.  Praise God she was not hurt and, just a few month ago I added some collision insurance on that old Pathfinder.  I'm really looking forward to seeing her this Thursday.

I may be speaking at a small gathering of recovering Christians ... mostly bikers ...on Nov. 11.  That will be another blessing for me. Your prayers, as always, are appreciated.